Laughing Through the Tears.

Recently, a friend asked me how I was doing, and for some reason, I froze. I never freeze when it comes to answering that question, but this time, I did. After a minute of awkward silence, I thought about what to say. Should I be honest and tell them how I truly feel, or should I just give a generic answer and move on? I chose the latter😏, and we talked briefly before my friend asked again, "How are you, really?" At that point, lying would be a complete disregard for our friendship, so I told them exactly how I felt. These were my exact words; 

I am tired and exhausted; sometimes, I just want to stay in bed and be left alone. Other times, I feel like I could fly and soar. I've been in a weird space lately, but things are getting better. I'm trusting God more, praying, crying, and doing everything except bottling it all up inside. I love watching my old videos because they bring me happiness. Capturing those moments always makes me feel better.

These days, getting out of bed has become harder, but I do it anyway because I acknowledge the fact that I want to do anything but that, then I have a brief "Pros" and "Cons" argument in my head, bearing in mind that Capitalism is real, and I have bills to pay😒. Throughout the day, I go through various emotions, and I take note of them. I don't let them go carelessly. Before now, I thought "Happy Princess" meant happy 24/7, 365 days a year. For the most part, I have been happy, but I have also experienced a profound level of pain, sadness, being overwhelmed, and basically being human. If anything, this period has taught me to cherish and capture happy moments even more and be more determined that even in sad moments, I won't feel bad for being sad. Instead, I would rather go through it and understand that I am human and sadness sometimes happens. The only decision left to consider now would be how I choose to go about it.

I think that at some point, it became about the fact that "Happy" is my identity and if I am not happy, then what am I really? I have now realized that I am my identity, and all these facets of MY life are the things that make me, me. Not just some part of it. I have also come to understand that my peace and rest do not come from things seen, which is one of the things that make it all better. My reaction to every pain, sadness, and stress is "JUDAH" - Praise. For me, this means that even when the tears are rolling down my eyes, and my pillow is soaked, praise still will not cease from my lips and that even when it is hard to voice anything out, my heart will consistently praise.

WARNING: This blog is not about one of those "Perspire to Aspire" blogs; it's a "Do You" blog where I say what's on my mind, and anyone who can't handle it can just leave... Respectfully, of course, 😇.

Life is a journey with many twists and turns, and it's not always easy to stay positive when faced with challenges and adversity. We all experience sadness at some point in our lives, whether due to personal struggles, loss, or disappointment. At the same time, we should strive to find happiness even amidst the sadness and not discredit either of these two opposing feelings. They are two sides of a coin, the Yin and Yang, and they coexist in our lives.

Sadness can be overwhelming, and it's easy to get lost in negative thoughts and emotions. But it's important to remember that sadness is not a permanent state of being. It's a temporary emotion that will pass with time, and it's up to us to take control of our feelings and find true Joy in the things that matter. It's okay to feel sad and to acknowledge our emotions. Ignoring or suppressing our feelings will only prolong our sadness and hinder our ability to find happiness again.

Happiness, on the other hand, can sometimes feel like an elusive goal. We may think we need certain things to be happy, such as material possessions, a successful career, or a perfect relationship. But true Joy comes from Abba. It's about finding joy in the present moment and appreciating the good things in our lives. We can cultivate happiness by practicing gratitude, focusing on positive thoughts, and doing things that bring us joy.

For now, I will leave you with this note that I found really helpful from one of the pages I follow on Instagram- @devonafayana.

Till next time.

Your fellow human, 

Princess💕