THE SINGLE PLAGUE

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Breakfast is served...

Good morning, Aunty Maggi.

Aunty, why are you looking at me like that? Shebi because I'm single you automatically think I want to jump on your husband's bones? (Tueh)

Aunty o, why are you whispering and gossiping at Junior's birthday? (I can literally hear your loud whispers!) Abi it's because I wore crazy jean to the party you think I want to seduce your friends husbands? It's kukuma me that carried myself to come na. 

Me ke? Wetin concern me abeg? Me that came because Aunty Cordelia made my favorite dish?

Aunty please I'm not catwalking o, it's just how my bow legs make me walk. Trust me, I would love to sit in this seat all through the  party, but Aunty Joy and Aunty Blessing will think I'm waiting for them to serve me because I'm a lawyer now. I heard when they were talking to Cousin Jason, while I honestly do not care, I don't want you people to talk mummy's ear off. She trained me well, na me just get coconut head. 

THE END.


Lol, hi guys!

I can bet that over 80% of the people who read this would have experienced this at family occasions OR some other occasion. There's this thing that happens when Africans know you're single- I dubbed it "the Stank Eye". I cannot count the number of times I have been bestowed with the amazing "Stank Eye" by relations, friends parents and other people who dim me worthy😋. 

This morning, a close friend received this message "Good morning, I hear say xxxx your former boyfriend dey marry" My friend forwarded it to me and asked how to respond because I kukuma know how to answer people WELL. In my head,  I'm like, how is this one somebody's business now? I thought of a befitting answer to give bearing in mind that the so called person hasn't spoken to my friend in months! I just told her to respond with " Good morning. Yes, I know" (Thank God for the Holy Spirit o). 

So, I'm just sincerely curious to know why Africans feel like your relationship status is their business and that they have a say in it? I'm also curious to know why the "Stank Eye" even exists. So, because I'm single, it means that I automatically want your potbellied men? OR I'm sad OR I'm automatically inept as a result. 

Wonders shall never cease o. Me sha, I just thought about it and I said, let me come and ask my people. 

Thank you for coming to my TEDwrites😏

Till next time. 

P.S- I hope you don't let the "Stank Eye" get to you. It's honestly ... rubbish (I said that with my British accent because it's more funny in my head).

Love Always, 

Princess💕

Comments

Diva said…
See ehn, it’s easier said than done. But las las, we go dey alright #singlepringle
November 12, 2021 at 1:58 AM
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